RICHARD MORRISON Principal of Relational Coaching
My dictionary tells me that a ‘system’ is – a group of interacting, interrelated, or interdependent elements forming a complex whole. It might be possible for a system to be comprised of only two elements, but I doubt if it would be a very beneficial or productive system. In my mind, a system with only two elements is ‘too simple’ to be useful, out of touch with the complexities of our world.
Paradoxically, my initial reaction when it comes to ‘relationships’ is the reverse. I think about my relationship with you, or him, or her in more simplistic terms – as ‘one on one’. For example, when there is tension with the boss, it is the boss that I am angry with… he’s the cause of my angst! I often loose sight of the fact that every ‘one on one’ relationship exists in a large, complex system of relationships. So the concept of ‘one on one’ in relationships is an illusion – even the romantic couple engrossed in each other’s company bring to the table the memory and the influence of a whole host of others.